Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Speechless pain !

 Today is Independence Day
but I do not have that feeling of independence!
First I am not American! 2 I really can not find the feeling!
Today is strong competition for the World Cup 4 time! I have nothing to care about the feeling!
I love football! but now they no sense for me!
I want to cry hysterically! roar! to the power of the body used up! but it is not the place to vent! people would think I was crazy
Maybe I really crazy! narcissistic madman! confident crazy! fallen crazy??? depraved madman??? rogue's crazy!
heart hurts! What is an independent you? 18 after the family out into the world from their parents called independent? or your own ability to have a position with
have to eat to live, a car called independent?? the material world is the material world after all! not allow me to dream! why I love fantasy?
is not because a child has been abused at home afraid of complications arising???
I do not know! for all these reasons I do not know! I do not know how to understand how my heart is now like
Anyway, I think I live in this world now is really idiot! is useless! not give up on themselves! is a true portrayal of my heart now
Maybe I playing in it! playing days are not going to help me
I really kind of world pressure in my head I feel breathless!
so I do not really have such a life? ability is really not out of this predicament?
what I have to go a way to go?
how I kind of efforts to let people see from me? Or that we did nothing for me! I despise their own! ?
is perhaps the reason for my own! The world does not need a coward! I was abandoned by God's children?
I feel that I was too incoherent words! I do not know what to say anymore! Why now I'd come to this!
3 year tour of Shanghai and Shenzhen turn of events! Chengdu opportunity lost! What does it all to blame? Aside from the blame myself too naive! Maybe that makes me think this world is too complicated! I do not know how to do it! How to continue my life? How to continue to go on?
how to get my life first bucket of gold?
I'm confused, I lost my direction! They say people are to eat only live in the world! However, apart from eating nothing else can be done to it? I think if people say that this naive than I thought! But think also! To the old day look back and think this is eat and sleep for several decades does not repeat it?
the middle of the process but this is quite complex, live to eat? To work to eat? Some would say the spirit of the end of the world is the greatest in the world! Eat only part of the world!
I'm hungry! Want to eat it! There is no rice on how to do? Work to make money to eat! This is the simple truth! But now I work the most is the lack of
work? Can? Work? Allowed? Work? Opportunity? Work? Value? Work? Money? Work? Life?
I do not think too much longer! I'm now very painful @! Heart, then to finish all in here! But all you said I do not know what I want to say in the end!
Maybe I'm just useless! In fact, this person I am not a good relationship! In addition to a person a lot of friends! Have and maintain a distance too far! ~ I can not to deal with some of the details of the problem! The details of the deal is that I now faced the biggest trouble! Work is distorted because of the details and my thoughts will be lost, how to find the back? I know how to find! But I did not do something now perseverance! This is my greatest disease! I once said that her illness better than not knowing! But now I think he knows not to change but more of the bad! That made me bitter! Made me change is not their own! I lost my direction it! I do not have a life goal!
my life maybe this is it? ? ?
I'm not willing to let go!
said so much nonsense! My heart is still very rogue! Perhaps a friend can read the words of this nonsense! Tell me that you are still young! ~ There are plenty of comforting words and a series! But I have put these words are boring! No one can save me!
when I can get up and cheer up? ?
I do not know!
Independence Day! World Cup Top 4! Hey!

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